connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sober January is a disaster.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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