he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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