you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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