I'm really into asian looking animals
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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