I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
