The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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