You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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