How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Boobs are out for the taking
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
