i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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