Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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