I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
