It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I party with great urgency now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
