next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i now understand why vodka
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
