ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
