you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
