He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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