My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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