There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
