hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
