Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
