Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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