Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
