We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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