Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize