I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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