I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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