People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
