Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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