Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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