She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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