Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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