69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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