How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
