..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
