Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
