Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
