I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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