your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
