I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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