did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
