it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
