Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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