i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize