There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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