Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
