Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize