I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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