Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
