I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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