the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wish you could order shots online.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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