so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
