You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
