If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
