toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
