I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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