Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
