he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize