capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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