my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
