I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
