you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
