I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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