dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
