i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
