Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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